Doing magic

Sometimes you really need to produce some magic in order to stay mentally healthy. Doing this sort of magic means to get over things, to erase memories and getting rid of the things linked to those memories.

One year

It has been more than a year since I had to change the plans in my head, since I had to see and take care of myself again. No more dreams of a joint project, no more.

I can remember clearly how lost I felt when I came back to Brussels. I used to think that there was nothing to hold to. I couldn't see that I'm the only person that I can really rely on or hold to.

Understand that I had to start over took me more less this entire year out of my country and far away from my family and friends. I cannot really tell what is next for me yet, but I'm not as scared as I was last August. Some of the most hurtful pain and the biggest fears are gone. I trust myself again and I want to think that I will take the best decisions.

Los lugares

Los lugares se quedaron vacíos de recuerdos, de esencia. Paso por lugares que ya no tienen esas presencias, que ya no tienen el mismo significado. Mi espíritu esta mucho más tranquilo, más en paz con los recuerdos y el pasado. Mi ciudad se había quedado impregnada de presencias que ya no significan nada más. Hoy ya me reconcilié con esos recuerdos y este lugar vuelve a ser mío. Dejé ir lo que hace más de un año tuvo que irse.

Happy 35

One more year, another 365 days trying to organise my life, my ideas. Happy 35 and a happy life from here to whatever comes in 2012. It has been a long way and I'm not entirely sure about the things that I have reached or the ones that I'm still missing. I wish many things were simpler. I guess it's a matter of keep going.

Felices 35...

Comenzar a olvidar

Y de repente te das cuenta de que comienzas a olvidar detalles y de repente tu cabeza comenzo a seleccionar lo que quiere conservar. Y es que para conservar los recuerdos en buen estado hace falta mantenerse en el mismo sitio y rodeada de los mismos elementos y personas.
Hoy veo que he comenzado a olvidar, que hay cosas que ya no recuerdo. Comienza la selección... Comencé a olvidar y eso quizás es una buena noticia.

Coincidencias

El fin de semana leí algo que me puso a pensar en las coincidencias. Pensé en lo pequeño que puede ser el mundo y en como los seres humanos compartimos sensaciones, códigos, heridas, etc. La coincidencia era una imagen y el texto escrito sobre ella. De repente conectó con información muy íntima y códigos que tenían un significado muy grande para mi.

Una coincidencia que me hace pensar en los millones de corazones en el mundo, sus millones de anhelos, desilusiones, dolores, sonrisas y esperanzas.

Cuando camino por la calle en medio de otros, suelo pensar en estas cosas y en como cada una de esas personas es un universo infinito de sensaciones, sentimientos, complicaciones. Seguro que por esa razón las coincidencias no lo sean tanto. Quizás sólo sean patrones compartidos, cosas aprendidas o reacciones necesarias de nuestros espíritus. Quizás sólo seamos piezas similares de un gigantesco rompecabezas.

The ice cream truck

I don't think that we have an ice cream truck in my country, but we used to have a number of different sounds that announced some sort of local sweets on Sundays.

Sundays have always had a special meaning for me. (I kind of like even more Mondays than Sundays, specially Sundays after lunch time). Sundays meant a number of things when I was a child, but also they were closely related to sweets or some sort of treat.

I was doing nothing today when I heard the ice cream truck with this sort of strange melody. I don't know if the kinds around identify that music on the way that other generations did. I was told once that it kind of meant a lot for earlier generations in the US.

A strange idea came across my mind: perhaps in this life happiness is like the ice cream truck or the local signals of sweet treats on a Sunday afternoon in my own country: it comes in specific seasons or just for a brief period of time every Sunday. Perhaps happiness needs to be followed by a Monday (by the lack of hapiness) so it can still mean something special.

Someone gave me once a lucky clover little pocket card that says: "Remember that happiness is a means of travel, not a destination". Maybe that is the reason for those child memories when an ice cream truck or the sounds announcing local sweet treats would made our day when we were just childrens, when we had very few things to worry about and when life was way easier and happiness was there, in every little thing and not over there, unreacheable.