Eso es todo...

It's so hard to realise how things change. To realise that this is it. That after all the shared things, the experiences and the expectatives, that is it. Also, besides the that is it, the way that feelings are transformed. Nothing lasts forever and when it comes to feelings this is more true than for anything else.

I once said that "I can't believe that this is it". I have gone this far to realise that it was. Nothing remains, nothing will stay untouchable. We move permanently and with us, our feelings and the way that others feel for us as well.

So now, finally: this is it.

Home

What is a home? Where is it? I guess this used to be a high level concept in my life in the sense of being a stranger to it. It's true that in the last couple of years I realized that I don't have one. I guess this is not about having a house, but having a place or circumstance where I belong and I'm needed or missed.

Being far from my country makes me also think that this home concept is not something applicable to my life since I don't seem to belong here or there. I feel like I could "easily" change the direction of my life without big consequences.

I have of course links and bonds, but not 'my" own things. Perhaps only what the original family gave me. Of course I'm not complaining about it, but I know that those are my roots, but not my own thing. And I don't really know what's my own thing or if I have one!