A veces

If I have to be honest, I still have some sort of hard time with some stuff. It's like a burning sensation when seeing certain things, but it's also true that I shouldn't look at those things. It's basically my own choice to look at those things and I could "easily" avoid searching, reading and so on. Sometimes it takes a long time to unplug completely, but I know it's getting better.

Night, night...

Lloviendo

Han sido un par de semanas intensas. Desde terminar pendientes para tomar vacaciones, volar tres veces en una semana, visitar NY involuntariamente por 24 hrs, hasta verte/verlos. Cumplir años, intentar mediar, ver a mis amigos, tener planes cada día, hacer rabietas con cosas que no tolero en mi ciudad. Pasar del "bonjour". Recibir mensajes y felicitaciones inesperadas. Compartir Ginebra con Vale... Dios, 9 mil cosas que han pasado en el pequeño lapso de un par de semanas.

Ahora, sentada, viendo llover desde uno de muchos Starbucks compartidos, escribiendo de ti, de él, de ellos... De cada persona que ha hecho tan intensas el último par de semanas.

Llueve fuerte. Estoy detenida y pensado. Sin arrepentimientos, sin culpas o cargas emocionales. Solamente yo y mis nuevos 36. Solamente yo y el resto de mi vida...

Bonjour!

Ça va? Ça va!... I don't think you will say more than that and I guess I'm not good enough like for a conversation in French anyway. I also think that you are too scared of me. I saw your reaction when you realised I go to the same supermarket that you do. I was seriously checking my shopping list, but I managed to see you coming too. You noticed me and stopped walking for some seconds. You pretended to look at something and then you ran away... To come back 30 seconds later to cross my path and say "Bonjour", all brave. Thanks for that, it was very cute.

Now it seems to me like you will not say anything else except for "Bonjour", but it is still very nice to be noticed and even better if someone talks to me with a smile in his face. I wish you could know that it means a lot to me and gives me hope in many ways.

The songs

I was listening to some "forbidden" songs the other day and found that they won't make me sad anymore. I really think that music can be an issue when our spirit is not doing that well. And it seems like my spirit is strong enough once again.

The memories attached to those songs are slowly being archived somewhere in my mind and will for sure, become just that: memories. Some of those things will also disappear at some point.

Seems to me that starting living differently in this city is also helping. Like I should not stop doing stuff and being open to new people and experiences... Including winking in the tramway!!

I've got one hand in my pocket

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine, fine, fine
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five...

Todo tendrá que estar bien ¿no? Me hubiera gustado estar ahí y sentir que aportaba algo.