When you are alone...

It's funny how sometimes you think that you have people by your side, especially your partner, and then one day you realise that you are alone as f*ck. Someone's physical presence does not translate to company, loyalty, care, etc. I spent four (yes, four!!) years thinking I wasn't on my own and it turns out that I was.

What was different from before those four years?
1. That I moved outside Brussels
2. That I put myself in second or third or even fifth place thinking that in that way, I wouldn't mess with a father-daughter relationship
3. That I became ill. Physically and emotionally
4. That I had to adjust to someone's else priorities (and I wasn't one of them)
5. That I wasn't really part of that home. I was just helping out
6. That I went from one medical appointment to the next on the basis of someone's else availability and mood
7. That I had to wake up earlier and go to sleep earlier
8. That I couldn't see the few close friends that I've made since I moved to Belgium
9. That for four years I thought I had MY own family
10. That for four years I believed the lie of "having found my soulmate" and that the "I love you" manifestations were real and enough reason to stay.

The list could go on, but this post is not intended to be unkind to myself. I was blind and stupid in many ways, but I'm ready to be nicer and to make the best out of this new phase of life.

Peace.